What’s the point?
For many of us, pandemic life has thrown more than just our daily routines into chaos. It’s shown us pain, loss, and suffering on a global scale – and for most of us, this is different from anything we’ve experienced before now. When we’re surrounded by so much uncertainty,
it’s easy to wonder what the point of it all is.
Ultimately, we can’t prevent all bad things from happening to us, and we can’t avoid pain and loss forever. But experiencing terrible things feels… well, terrible. So, if part of the human experience is accepting the reality of pain and loss, what’s an ordinary human to do about it? How can we find a sense of purpose or meaning in the midst of a pandemic, war, political unrest, chronic illness, or anything else we might face in life?
Defining “Meaning”
The difficult thing about “meaning” is that it can’t easily be quantified – we can’t see it or measure it, so how do we know when our lives have it? Maybe more importantly, what IS the meaning of life and where do we find it?
There really isn’t any “one size fits all” answer to that question for everyone. But don’t let that discourage you – from an Existential-Humanistic theoretical approach, that lack of a concrete answer means that we each have the freedom and capability to determine what makes our lives meaningful, and then take our own steps to attain it. From this philosophical standpoint, life’s meaning can look different for each of us.
Perhaps the best question to ask isn’t, “What’s the meaning of life?” but rather,
“What’s the meaning of MY life?”
From an Existential viewpoint, the bad things that happen to us are constant reminders of our own limits and eventual mortality.
This means that it’s up to us to be responsible for creating meaningful lives and making each day count to the fullest.
The Humanistic viewpoint is that people are generally good, with the free will to make the best choices, and the potential for self-improvement. When combined together, these philosophies can help create an approach that motivates us to become our best selves, and tap into our personal power for growth and interconnectedness.
Identifying Values and Goals
If you want to take a deeper look at your life and start creating your own meaning, where should you begin?
There are a couple of brainstorming approaches you can take. First, start thinking about where the most important things in your life come from. Are they extrinsic, coming from outside influences? Or are they intrinsic, coming from within yourself?
Next, write a list of your most deeply held values – including those important things you already brainstormed about. You can get really abstract with this – remember, there is no right or wrong answer.
Think about what brings you joy, what ideas or morals you believe are worth fighting for, and ultimately what makes your life worth living from one day to the next.
Finally, think about what you would like to accomplish in your life. Make a list of these “bucket list” goals.
What did you come up with? You might have written down things like raising children, helping others, or your career. Did you write about your passion for a particular cause? Do you have a goal to contribute to society and connect with others in a specific way? Maybe you want to support an organization for animal rights, perform community service with a marginalized population, or promote awareness for research to cure an illness that has impacted your life.
Don’t forget your own personal development, as well. When you wrote your lists, did you include friendships, partner relationships, and family bonds? What about things like hobbies, education, or physical well-being? Making healthy choices for yourself are an important part of the personal growth process that will help you form connections with the world around you and interpret it in meaningful ways.
Further Framework
Viktor Frankl wrote Man’s Search for Meaning in 1946 after his experiences as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps. He developed a therapeutic method for individuals to find purpose and meaning in life, and part of his method was to identify three values that he felt were the core of that meaning. Frankl’s three life values are:
Creative Value: What we create or accomplish is the gift we give to the world around us.
Experiential Value: What we receive from the world through our experiences and encounters.
Attitudinal Value: The attitudes we choose to have about bad situations that we cannot control.
Frankl believed that we can create our own meaning by giving something back to the world, by experiencing love for others, and by acknowledging our pain and loss, yet choosing to persevere even when things are difficult. Are Frankl’s life values part of the lists you wrote?
Dr. Paul Wong also built on Frankl’s ideas to create his PURE model to help individuals find their life’s purpose and meaning. You can use it as an additional guideline to take a closer look at the way you live in relation to your values and goals. PURE stands for:
Purpose: Your life goals and what you want to accomplish.
Understanding: Yourself, the situations around you, and your life as a whole.
Responsible action: Doing the right thing, in line with your personal values.
Enjoyment and Evaluation: The happiness that comes from living your authentic purpose, and regularly checking in with yourself to make sure that you are on the right path.
Dr. Wong also adheres to several specific sources of meaning, such as achievement, self-transcendence, relationships, intimacy, and fairness. These sources can serve as the building blocks that you can use to apply the ideas in the PURE model to your own life. Did you write any of Dr. Wong’s sources on your lists?
Next Steps
Now that you have an outline to use as a starting point, get creative! Reach out and see what your community has to offer, learn new skills, choose habits that will cultivate your well-being, and foster new connections with those around you. Remember that the goal isn’t to avoid all of the pain and loss that comes with the human experience, but for each of us to live an authentic life according to our values, and to find our own meaning in the process.
Additional sources:
Center for Substance Abuse Treatment. Brief Interventions and Brief Therapies for Substance Abuse. Rockville (MD): Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US); 1999. (Treatment Improvement Protocol (TIP) Series, No. 34.) Chapter 6 --Brief Humanistic and Existential Therapies. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK64939/
Frankl, V. E. (1984). Man's search for meaning: An introduction to logotherapy. New York: Simon & Schuster.
Wong, Paul. (2011). Positive Psychology 2.0: Towards a Balanced Interactive Model of the Good Life. Canadian Psychology/Psychologie canadienne. 52. 69-81. 10.1037/a0022511.
If you need more help with your life’s meaning give CCS Education and Wellness a call and I will be happy to work with you.