Supporting a Friend Who May Be Experiencing Depression: What to Say and Do
Depression is a mood disorder that can include multiple forms of depression, including but not limited to Major Depressive Disorder, Persistent Depressive Disorder, Perinatal Disorder, Postpartum Depression, Bipolar Disorder, and Seasonal Affective Disorder. Symptoms of depression can vary depending on the type and severity, but can include feeling hopeless, irritable, experiencing disordered eating, impaired sleep, feeling fatigued or tired, isolating and withdrawing, physical pain, and thoughts of self-harm or suicide, to name some.
Depression is treatable with multiple modalities and interventions. However, if unaddressed and untreated, it can become severe and lead to significant impairments in areas of life, including health, self-care, housing, physical health, activities of daily living, employment, and education, legal, financial, interpersonal/social, as well as increased risk of self-harm and suicidal thoughts. If you’re concerned that your friend or family member is experiencing depression, here are ways you can support:
How to Support
Start a direct and transparent conversation. Talking about depression, self-harm, and suicide can be uncomfortable for many people, but it’s healthy and normal to be direct and transparent when talking about it, and often is effective in creating safety and trust around the topics. Some things you could say are “I’ve noticed you have been isolating and withdrawn lately. Are you ok?” “You seem like you’ve been depressed or sad lately. Do you need anything from me?” “I’m worried about you. Can I help you with anything?”
Listen without judgment. It requires courage and vulnerability for a friend or family member to share their lived experiences with depression, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts, so it’s important not to make them feel any guilt or shame. Some things you could say are “I want you to know you can be honest with me,” “I am not here to pass judgment on you. I only want to make sure you’re ok, happy and safe” “You don’t have to worry about me being judgmental.”
Speak with empathy and compassion. Showing your friend or family member that you care through empathy and compassion can be especially important during times when they feel severely depressed, isolated, and feel like no one cares about them. Some things you could say are “I’m so sorry. I had no idea you were feeling that way. “That sounds like it’s been difficult for you.” “I’m going to be here to get this figured out.” “It’ll get better. We’ll figure it out together.”
Encourage your friend or family member to talk about their depression, self-harm, or suicidal thoughts with health care professionals. A big part of providing support to a friend or family member who may be experiencing depression is encouraging them to see health care professionals including but not limited to a Primary Care Physician (PCP), calling their Member Services Department with their insurance, a Psychotherapist, a Psychiatrist or Psychologist, a local community-based organization or spiritual organization that aligns with their culture and values or crisis support resources within their county and community.
Resources:
San Bernardino County Mobile Crisis Response
Call (800) 398-0018 or Text (909) 420-0560
Riverside County Riverside University Health System Mobile Crisis Response
Call (951) 686-4357
https://ruhealth.org/behavioral-health/crisis-support-system-care
Central Counseling Services
(951) 778-0230
https://www.CentralCounselingServices.net
988 California Crisis Center
Call or Text 988