Accidents Happen to All of Us

At the age of ten I was in a fairly bad car accident. It left me with a broken nose and severe whiplash. By age twelve I was beginning to complain about neck and pack pains and by fourteen the feelings were daily. Throughout high school it was not uncommon to hear me complaining about my neck and back or constantly pulling and adjusting at my shoulders. At that time, however, it did not keep me from doing the things I loved to do, such as sewing, dance, and other physical activities. My homelife was also stressful at that time and days where pain flareups were worse, I often did little to nothing. Of course, doing little to nothing can be common in teenage years, but the constant pain on top of stress could drain the energy from me and leave me with no reserves for basic functions. 

I married and had kids young and the stress of this also made for difficulties in managing my pain. By the age of twenty-five and a couple more car accidents, I had finally had enough and sought more intensive treatment. I was given shots, pills, and physical therapy. All of which provided temporary relief (except perhaps the agonizing and daily requirements of physical therapy which took a long time to see lasting results from), and I was never one to want to be dependent on pills. I needed to reevaluate everything.

The Problem

Experiencing chronic pain can impact not only your daily functioning, but your mental health. Pain can have a significant impact on all areas of our lives from sleep to eating to even thinking straight. The populations with the highest rates of suicide deaths are those cited as nearly one in ten having had signs of chronic pain. Pain can affect the way we sleep and our quality of sleep, making our ability to eat and tolerate stress and frustration impossible, as well as decrease focus/concentration-related accidents. Sleep is arguably one of the most important basic functions we can do as humans. Our mental health is directly affected when we are negatively impacted by constant and persistent pain, creating a level of emotional hostility when we are preoccupied with managing even mild rates of discomfort. We become less friendly, experience less happiness, basic functional impairment (as discussed above), and increase our production of the stress hormone cortisol.

While there is a physiological and medical cause for a lot of chronic pain, it is important to critically evaluate your lifestyle and the way we interact with ourselves. While our mental state and emotional health may not always be a cause of pain, it is something well documented to have somatic implications on our physical health.

Why This Matters

Chronic pain and its emotional effects it can have in our lives can hinder our self-esteem, self-efficacy, and our relationships with others. This is important because we rely on the emotional (and sometimes physical) support of others. It can feel hard to tolerate being an emotional support for others when you feel constant agony within yourself. It can fuel undo resentment that is difficult to rationalize. It can cause us to be short-tempered, snarky, snappy, or completely unresponsive. Chronic pain can damage relationships as much as it can damage our self-worth and self-esteem. 

The presence of chronic pain can create and worsen our perception and interaction with others and the world by depriving us of basic needs as well as emotional wellbeing.

The types of chronic pain we all can deal with will vary from person to person and natural temperament plays an important role too. Our support system is another big factor which is why pushing people away for what we cannot control is the last thing we want to do! We may not be able to control how we feel at any given moment, but we always have control over our behaviors and the words we choose to express our pains and frustrations.

What Can We Do?

While the idea of managing chronic pain with no end in sight can be daunting as well as devastating, it is important to have a team behind you. This is your care team of professionals, such as doctors and therapists, as well as your support team such as friends and family. If pain management has minimal effects on comfort, such as those suffering with fibromyalgia or other painful conditions, having a solid care routine is crucial. Follow your medical doctor’s recommendations and advice religiously. 

You can also get emotional and mental support from mental health therapists that can teach you coping skills such as cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness therapy, somatic anchoring techniques, and exploring commitment and radical, unconditional acceptance. With support it can become easier to express your immediate needs, your limitations, and how others can best help you when you most need it. Through evaluation and inner awareness you can assess where your lifestyle can improve your quality of life as well as emotional factors playing into the worsening of symptoms.

It is important to remember we are sometimes overtaken by our intense pain, both physically and emotionally, that it is easy to overlook the good and where we can improve our own environment to support healthy functions.

Next Steps

What can we do next? Start with seeking support for emotional wellness and mental fortitude while you battle a force beyond your control. Seek someone who can help guide you through the mourning process and feelings of loss that chronic pain causes. Practice patience for yourself through this acceptance process on days you cannot do as much as you did yesterday. Use mindfulness exercises that help you through this acceptance process, but also allow yourself to experience positive moments throughout your day. While pain is experienced in the body, it is perceived only in the brain. A trained cognitive behavioral therapist can help put the experience of your pain into context and better understanding of your body. Your next steps may be daunting, but you do not have to endure it alone. Call me I understand you pain.

Finding Your Joy!

Wow, did you see that beautiful butterfly? Was that a dog… in a Santa costume?!

Or when was the last time you laughed out loud or sang along to your favorite song?

Have you crossed anything off your “To Do” List or enjoyed a good meal with a friend?

Can these small moments really make a difference in our mood?

The answer is yes, yes they can!

And as 2021 comes to and end and we are putting away the holiday décor, it might be difficult for some to find their joy.

In this blog I would like to share why I feel joy is important and how you can find it all around you.

Joy is experienced by each of us differently.

For some it is hugging their dog, or talking a walk. Meditation or gardening enables others to find their joy. For me, I find my joy when I notice my environment. I see a beautiful butterfly and in that moment I am relaxed. I feel a sense of calm.

My problems and concerns are still there but they take a backseat to the joy that I am experiencing. In that moment everything is alright in my world.

So WHY is it important to find your joy? When we experience joy we are actually having a change in our neurochemistry. Our brains are secreting hormones that relaxes and enable us to feel pleasure, satisfaction, a sense of happiness, optimism and wellbeing. These hormones are important as they bolster our mood, refill our emotional tanks and remind us that we will be okay. These hormones signal that we can find our emotional wellbeing despite what might be going on in our lives.

Often when we are upset, struggling with an issue, our thoughts are focused on what is

upsetting us. When we find our joy it reminds us that there is more to life than our problems. It does not mean that one’s problems have disappeared. What it can provide is a respite from the emotional pain. A reset and change of perspective.

How do you find joy in your own life?

I believe that it starts with mind and body awareness.

When you are aware of your body, being mindful of how you are feeling both physically and emotionally, you are better able to recognize moment of joy. This includes being aware of your environment and how you are moving around in it. Are you in a rush? Are you breathing? All are all aspects of mindfulness. When you are practicing mindfulness you are open to recognizing moments of joy.

So, as you put away your holiday décor, my hope is that you stop, breathe and take a look

around you. Did you find a surprise candy cane still hanging on the tree? Are you enjoying a playful moment with your kids? Wherever you find yourself, may you notice your JOY.

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When Leann is not talking with her clients at Central Counseling Services, you can find her in the garden looking at the butterflies and smiling.

Throughout my 10 years of working in the mental health field, whether it be inpatient care, outpatient mental health, medical setting or authorizing mental health treatment for an insurance company, the goal is the same. Listen. Be present for what is being said with nonjudgment and support. I have worked with children, adolescents and families who have struggled with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, ADHD, substance abuse, trauma and neglect. I have sat on both sides of the chair and understand what it means to be facing a crisis and how to move

forward and regain your equilibrium. My theoretical foundation lies in strength based therapy. I believe in the transformative power of listening and being present in a safe and nonjudgmental space. When you take that first step and reach out for help you have already started the healing process. Therapy is a safe place where you can unburden yourself, where the therapist is the

keeper of the faith that things will get better even if it feels like things will never change. I help you see the progress made and the inner strength reflected in yourself. You learn the skills to empower you to go forward and face what life may bring. Treatment approaches of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness and Mood regulation are a few of ways in which I can help to address your issues.

I look forward to working with you as you begin your journey of healing.