The Way You Think May Be Detrimental To Your Mental Health Part 2- How to Change that!

Last week we discussed some common cognitive distortions that may be adding to your anxiety or depression. To get caught up, if you missed last week's blog read that first, here! Have you been able to identify some common thought errors? If you’re experiencing any of these distortions,

Here are 8 steps to stop or slow down your Cognitive Distortions:

1. Recognize and isolate the thought: Look for absolute words, like ‘always’, ‘never’, or ‘can’t’ these are usually clues you’ve got a Cognitive Distortion going on. So are really strong negative words directed at yourself like, ‘hate,’ ‘stupid’ or ‘loser.’ Try and use these words sparingly, if at all.
2. Write it down daily: Yes, take your Cognitive Distortions to pen and paper. It makes a difference. Sometimes we can more easily recognize them by writing it down.
3. Take your distress temperature: Zero to ten. Zero meaning your content and peaceful; ten that your misery is paralyzing, or you have negatives feelings about yourself.
4. Use reality thinking: ask yourself: Is it reasonable to think that thought or is it unreasonable? Say the thought out loud. If a friend said that, would you agree or disagree? If the thought is truly reasonable it probably isn’t a distortion. If the thought is mostly unreasonable it probably is a distortion. If the thought is unreasonable: Take Responsibility. 
You just need to take responsibility for whatever it is that caused the thought and the resulting bad feeling and do something about it. Either decide to take action, let it go, or both.
5. Give it a name: What kind of cognitive distortion is it? Ask yourself, is it all or nothing thinking, fortune-telling, or maybe personalization? Figure it out because chances are you have a pattern going on. Once you have the distortion labeled you will be in tune to when it happens again in a different context. 
6. Write its name down: the act of writing down your thoughts allows you to see it and find a more reasonable thought to replace the distorted one. If you can’t come up with anything, think about what your friend would say. Or what would the angel say to the cognitive distorting devil?
7. Retake your distress temperature: Even if it’s just a few degrees lower, from a 9 to a 7, say, you are going in the right direction, and that’s a good thing.
8. Repeat as needed: review the steps above and repeat any steps for more stubborn thoughts.

Do not expect to ever be completely free from Cognitive Distortions. That would be unreasonable (Ha Ha :-))
However, the more you do these exercises the easier rescuing your mood, and lowering your distress level will become. If you continue to have these thoughts and you can’t make them go away on your own, give me a call and we can work on them together.

The Way You Think May Be Detrimental To Your Mental Health

Every single thought we have sends neurotransmitters through our brain. For every positive thought we have like, “For every problem, there is a solution.” Or “I’m happy that you got a good grade on your test.” We feel emotionally content, happy, and overall good. When we think negative thoughts, we experience a down feeling of sadness or a blah feeling. If the negative thought persists, we can become depressed or anxious. But sometimes these negative thoughts are wrong or misinterpreted by our brain. Those types of thoughts are called Cognitive distortions. These negative thoughts tend to be exaggerated, irrational, and often lack facts. Cognitive distortions are errors in thinking, they cause us to perceive reality inaccurately. These negative thoughts patterns reinforce negative emotions and feelings. We all use cognitive distortions from time to time, but we use them all the time they can contribute to depression and anxiety according to a study by (Burns, Shaw, & Croker, 1987).

Below are some examples of errors in thinking:Disqualifying the positive: You reject positive experiences by insisting they don’t count for some reason or another. In this way, you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
Jumping to Conclusions: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusions. Jumping to conclusions can also be interpreted as mind-reading, you arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don’t bother to check this out. Do you become victim to “Fortune Teller error”, you anticipated that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is right and is established in facts.
Magnification or Minimization: You exaggerate the importance of things ( such as your goof-up or someone else’s accomplishment) or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny ( your own desirable qualities or the other fellow’s imperfections.) this is also called “binoculars tricks”.
Should Statements: You try to motivate yourself with should and shouldn’t, as if you had to be whipped and punched before you could be expected to do anything. “Musts” and “ought’s” are also offenders. The emotional consequence is guilt. When you direct share statements towards others, you feel angry, frustration, and resentment.
Labeling and Mislabeling: this is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself. “I am a loser. “When you direct “should statements” toward others, as “you should always tell that person no, she is a loser.” Another example is when someone else’s behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to them: “He’s a damn
louse” or “He’s such a jerk”. Mislabeling involves describing the event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.

Have you been able to identify some of these distortions in yourself? Come back for next week's blog where we will talk all about the 8 simple steps to stop or slow down these Cognitive Distortions.

The drive home

So many times during our drive home from work, school or even running errands we engage in unhealthy behavior. Like everyone, I find myself engaging in unhealthy behavior such as overeating or my favorite “road rage.” Especially after a long stressful day at work. I just feel as if I have so much anxiety, I need to GET IT OUT, on the person driving on the road in front of me.

Now, I am maybe exaggerating just a little, but we all can let the stress of the day get to us in one way or another while driving.

These are some simple techniques that have helped me on the drive home.

First: I find it helpful to reflect on the positive outcomes of the day. No matter how BAD the day was, find the good.

Second: Refocus my priorities. Reviewing short term goals and long term goals.

Third: Listening to music that makes you feel good whether it be pop, country, jazz, meditation or relaxation or R&B music.

Four: Talk to yourself, yes I said talk to yourself. It sometimes is effective to bounce an idea around with you to improve productivity and reflect on the day and what we could have done differently.

Fifth: To be grateful for the small things you have, such as a beautiful sunset as you look at the horizon. For some, this might be a time to have a deeper connection with a high power. 

Sixth: Be polite to other drivers. Do the opposite of what you are feeling at the moment. You will see a different outlook if you exercise your free will of choice, and not react to your impulses.

Next time you feel like waving a nice middle finger birdied or honking your horn at someone, try to implement these six simple techniques on your next DRIVE HOME.

If you need help taming the anxiety or managing the road rage, call us, we can help get you back on track. We have two convenient locations to serve you, Riverside or Murrieta. Don’t continue to worry or be angry, call us @951-778-0230 or email Therapyccs@gmail.com

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by Lisa J. Clark, AMFT

Lisa loves working with teens and adults. She helps by teaching anxiety reduction skills and problem-solving skills. She is a good listener and she cares much. She hates to see people in pain and she works with them to help them develop a happier and healthier life. She is optimistic and warm and she helps people see other perspectives.

She is a parent and she understands that raising children can be a lot of hard work and sometimes parents get stressed and need help too.

A favorite quote of her is "It's easier to build strong children than repair Broken men." Fredrick Douglass.

Multitasking is a LIE

It's a Lie we tell ourselves...

We have all heard that multitasking is the best way to be highly efficient and it's the way smart people get things done. We are always trying to find a way to get more tasks accomplished within our 24 hours and multitasking seems to be the answer right? Wrong. We all have been sold a bill of goods; really, we have.  The word multitasking was first used in 1960 to described a computer’s ability to perform many tasks seemly all at once; ultimately, multitasking literally means multiple tasks alternately sharing one resource in this case a CPU. Due to a computer’s fast ability to read code it “looks like” it is doing more than one task at a time. However, even the CPU cannot read two lines of code at a time. What the CPU is actually doing is alternately reading and executing the code by switching back and forth between the codes until the tasks are done.

 

Overtime, this lie of multitasking became synonymous with people doing multiple tasks. Now I hear what you are saying “Hey wait a minute humans can multitask; we can walk and talk, or chew gum and walk, or even drive and listen to music all at the same time.” Yes, you are right those small tasks can be done simultaneously. However, not with equal attention and more importantly our attention bounces between the two tasks. If the tasks have greater focus the harder they are to complete together. Think about driving and talking on the phone. This activity is responsible for over 6000 deaths annually and is the number one cause of death in teens even over alcohol use. http://bit.ly/1LOfHPH Additionally,  I see people that come into my office stressed and feeling over whelmed and I will ask about their sleep schedule, their commute time, family time, personal (alone) time and about their working time. They tell me that almost every moment of their day is planned out and yet they still want to do more. They want to be able to add other things to their schedule or they feel they just can’t juggle anything more. They feel depressed, sad, overwhelmed and stressed, with little life satisfaction. They can’t understand why, “if only I could get more organized they say it would all work out.”  I am here to give you the freedom of doing one thing and doing it well.  No more multitasking; now doesn’t that feel good? So why is multitasking so bad for us? According to a 2009 study at Stanford University, multitasks pay a big mental price. The study found that:

• Reduces the amount of information you can remember; decreased overall memory
• Unable to filter out irrelevant information; so tasks actually take longer
• Unable to focus on the goal at hand
• Always thinking about  other things but not able to complete the task
• Inability to concentrate for long periods of time  
• We become less efficient as we lose time by switching between tasks
• The stress hormone cortisol increase in the brain when we multitask
• We actually lose 10 functional IQ points

World expert on divided attention and Neuroscientist, Earl Miller, at MIT states it this way...

                “Our brains are not wired to multitask well.” When people think they’re multitasking, they’re actually just switching from one task to another very rapidly. And every time they do, there’s a cognitive cost in doing so.”

 If you suffer from the “shiny object syndrome” or if you're still not convinced to give up multitasking I challenge you to just try for a day. Work on one project until it’s completion. Put the phone on mute, turn off the email pings and solidly work on the task. See if it takes you less time, you have more focus, if your brain is less fatigued and you may even have more energy and a bigger sense of accomplishment.