Thanksgiving evokes from me a time to sit around a table with family and friends and talk about the year's past. Since this time of COVID, I'm aware many of our family and friends may not be present, through illness, or they are fearful of getting together like they once did or fear someone has Covid, and of course, those who are not living any longer as those we had to say goodbye to. So, I ask myself, “What does Thanksgiving look like now?” What does it look like to be thankful, have traditions, and gather with others in a Covid-19 world?
This year has been different in how we are saying goodbye to our loved ones– Hospitals limited us to only one person allowed to visit at a time. Clients have reported hearing the nurses say, "we're sorry there are no admits to this wing at this time."
Another significant change is that we couldn't bury the departed like we used to. We had to do virtual services instead of in-person services. I observed, just last week, a gathering where I live that had been postponed for over six months. Finally, these folks got together in the dining room to say goodbye to the departed loved one; her friends and family surrounded the widow and began singing together. They told tales of her departed husband and brought pictures to talk about him and his life with her. No one should have to wait such a long time to grieve, but we all had to be safe!
I also see from TV and Social media "what the Thanksgiving holiday is supposed to be" –"What it's supposed to look like"
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the perfect picture: turkey waiting to be sliced up, mashed potatoes, veggies, salad, pumpkin pie -and, I am aware for many folks, they have been living on the street or living with relatives (if that lucky) or those who don't want to live anywhere but on the street, where they say they feel they are safer than cooped up in a rental apartment.
Their Thanksgiving looks very different than my Thanksgiving.
Many people are generous, they choose to work in food banks or feeding the hungry on Thanksgiving. I've been fortunate to never find myself in such straights. And, so I ask myself what "can I really do for the less fortunate ?"
There are many ways I can volunteer in my area: be on the food lines, help prepare a meal, help deliver a meal for that week, listen to elderly neighbors tell their stories, and so forth.
As a therapist, I console others at times, assisting clients when they find themselves alone.
Not all of us have family, spouses, or close friends.
But in this time of COVID, we also are so isolated and alone, especially now as we all try to find some peace and resemblance of normalcy.
As a therapist, I am genuinely interested in "their stories." Stories of family, children, their work lives, now-today lives. Take time to listen. Better yet, If you can extend yourself safely to your neighbors, check in with them in person or on Zoom, call them or Facetime.
Leave a piece of pie for them.
Make that extra time to say hello or share a meal.
We have all had a tough year.
May you enjoy the Thanksgiving you create this Season.
~Judy
Judy provides Clinical Supervision at Central Counseling Services in Riverside. She is a Mother, Grandmother, and GG, and loves the work she does at CCS. She enjoys trainings on the most recent theories in our work, and has specialties of working with First Responders, Trauma victims, and providing workshops on Prevention of Suicide with her colleague Sherry Shockey-Pope. Call us today if you would like to work with Judy.