One of the hardest things to accept has been the loss of my son to a mental disorder. I remember the day 30 years ago, the day he was born planning his life. I picked out the preschool he would attend, elementary, middle, high school and college with no thought that his path was chosen and I would be the one and other family members adjusting to the changes that were going to affect all of our lives.
I remember thinking and feeling what an angel,
he looked like, rosy cheeks, blue eyes, and brown hair. The perfect child; as infant always smiling, watching observing and being content. He responded to cuddling, kisses from everyone, children and adults with smiles; as he grew the most cooperative, mellow, observant and accommodating child to everyone who came in his presence. I had no idea the changes that were waiting in his future and the devastating effects his illness would play on the family's future.
I was blindsided by his deteriorating behavior towards me and I wondered would I be able to manage the challenges that are not part of normal/regular parenting. This was an eye-opener and a glimpse of what was to come. Two years prior to the decline in his behavior; it started in middle school: skipping classes and being truant to class regularly and lastly not attending his middle school graduation.
I remember looking and searching for him the entire day only to discover he was at a classmate's house smoking marijuana. His delinquent behavior from that moment increased to almost daily defiance. I was at a loss on what to do! The next move was to seek out counseling services but to no avail.
He refused to participate and only resisted my efforts to help him. At that point, I chose to help myself and practice self-care in an effort to deal with the issues to come so I attended counseling to learn coping skills to maintain my own emotional and mental stability.
Without therapy, I don't believe I would have been able to maintain and navigate the challenges that come with parenting a mentally unwell adolescent. My story does not end here and this is only the beginning in a series of articles....
Danisha McCrary, AMFT knows first-hand how difficult it is to love someone with a chronic mental illness. She has worked with many families that were struggling with issues of substance abuse, homelessness, mental disorders and traumatic events. As a counselor, Danisha assist families to overcome the obstacles that prevent healing, teach people how to manage crisis situations, and find new healthy ways to cope in life. Danisha is fond of saying, “that we all can use a little bit of help from time to time, even me.” If you want to work with Danisha give our office a call.
I found my passion for working with children, teens and families when I was a Social Worker for Child Protective Services. These families were struggling with issues of substance abuse, homelessness, mental disorders and traumatic events. As a counselor, I desire to assist families to overcome the obstacles that prevent healing, help manage stressful life events and find new healthy directions in life.
I am fond of saying, “we all can use a little bit of help from time to time, even me.”
I believe people and families can develop the coping skills needed for healthier relationships. Nobody wants to feel sad, depressed, angry or anxious. I have seen plenty of people get better and enjoy their lives and families again. I believe in hope.
My specialty is working with people from age 5 to 80 who experience depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, feeling stuck, or just can’t find the joy in life anymore.
I have found children and families can be resilient by participating in therapy and learning the skills needed to recover and manage their life struggles. My priority is to find the best therapeutic model to assist you and your family in healing and developing a healthy relationship. Because we all deserve to feel good about ourselves and have loving and caring friends and family.