Let’s not be disappointed one more Valentine’s Day as all our heart’s desires may not come to pass. I suggest we set the goal of loving yourself this year. The difference between a goal and a desire is that a goal is something you set for which you can have complete control. A desire is something you may want, but, it requires the cooperation of others and things outside your control to fall into place as you hope.
Loving yourself is not selfish as many may mistakenly believe. As a matter of fact, in order to truly love another we must accept love for ourselves first. We can only give from what we ourselves have. There is a wise old command which holds valuable truth: Love your neighbor as yourself! Sound familiar? If you are finding yourself short of patience, feeling overwhelmed with anxiety, experiencing anger, depression and having discord in your personal relationships, perhaps this is an indicator that you need to take time to love yourself and fill your own cup in ways that only you can. It’s time well spent to learn what it means to love yourself.
Love has been described as patient, kind, not envious, is forgiving, not resentful, is able to let go of past wrongs, holds tight to truth about self and others, believes the best in others including the self….This kind of love does not fail it’s beholders. How about taking a personal inventory this Valentine’s Day on each of the above love qualities to assess how you are loving yourself in these ways? For example, you can rate yourself on a 1 to 10 scale as to how patient you are with yourself (1 is the worst and a 10 is the best.) Then go onto kindness. How kind are you to yourself? And go through each of the love qualities. You can see clearly the areas which need some TLC. How about deciding to pick 2 of your lowest rated qualities and set goals for how you can practically increase the needed love quality?
It would be great if you can keep your honest inventory tucked away in a journal for your own records. You can even refer to this journal next Valentine’s Day and see how you have progressed. If you find some areas of love need help beyond yourself for extra support, insight or counsel, we would be delighted to walk with you on the great Valentine’s Day adventure of learning how to love yourself.
When you can receive love, it is almost impossible not to pass it on. You and your relationships will surely blossom when you make the time and investment to love yourself.
About Heidi Lindros, LMFT
Heidi is the new licensed therapist at Central Counseling Services, Riverside. With over 20 years of nursing experience and counseling individuals, couples and families of all walks of life, Heidi has specialized in addiction therapy treatment where she can use her whole health background toward greater healing.
For contact information: firstname.lastname@example.org, (951)-778-0230